My goal as a doula is ensure that you know these are choices for you to make. You do have a say. Your voice and opinion and preferences matter. A big factor in birth satisfaction is about how you were treated, respected and involved in yours and your baby's care. Your doula can assist you in finding that voice and being sure it is heard.

You may hear policies presented to you with no choice

Hospitals and providers hold certain policies that are specific to the facility. The hospital holds these polices for reasons of convivence and potentially to protect themselves from litigation. These policies are not laws. You do NOT have to follow them. An example of a policy may be "nothing by mouth other than clear liquids during labor". This policy does NOT mean that you are forbade from eating and drinking whatever sounds good to you. It may mean it is a good idea to bring your own snacks to the hospital.

Patterns of care can be adjusted to suit you

Healthcare providers are providing this care all day long to numerous patients. They develop routines of how and when tasks are done based on how they were taught and their personal experiences. For example you nurse may want to complete all of the tasks for admission right when you arrive to the hospital. If you are in active labor and having to divert all of your attention to the each contraction, this process may need to put on hold, handled by your partner or spaced out to accommodate time between contractions. You deserve individualized care.

When interventions are presented

Your provider may suggest interventions during labor. An intervention by definition is 'the act of interfering with the outcome or course especially of a condition or process'. Meaning this act can change or alter the course of your labor. These could be breaking the bag of waters, oral medications, IV medications, or even surgical intervention. Each intervention comes with a desired outcome, benefits, risks and alternatives. Your provider should be giving you all of this information and time for you to consider and to ask any follow up questions. Other aspects of this process can be listening to your intuition. Your mama instincts are strong and they matter. You are the one experiencing this labor.

Strong phrases to use during labor

- "Can we have some information about alternatives? I want to make my decisions carefully and slowly after discussing with my partner."

- "Is this an emergency?"

- "Can this wait an hour?"

- "I would like to get a second opinion from another care provider before deciding."

- "If I and my baby are safe right now, I am not ready to change plans."

- "I do not consent."

- "No."

All in all, your birth does not have to happen "to you" but rather can be filled with informed choices and feel empowering no matter what. Your birth matters. This will be something you remember for the rest of your life and you deserve to be respected and involved in all aspects.